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D. C. - From San Antonio, TX

THIS BOOK & Study is a MUST HAVE! My husband and I were coached, mentored, and married by Pastor Bob Hornstein and his amazing wife Karen - We were so blessed to learn these principles early on...and learn to live with open ears & hearts for each other - but mainly our LORD - as He guides and counsels us to maintaining a healthy loving and vibrant relationship with each other (16yrs of marriage) as well as many more years with family & friendships!


A. M. - From Dallas, TX

When my husband and I first met Bob and discussed the importance of VALIDATION and the materials he taught from, I left our meeting with hope.  Bob explained how invalidation would ultimately lead to the death of a relationship.  We were the 'Walking Dead' and desperately wanted our relationship to be redeemed.  At the time, we were not able to express or validate each other’s feelings in a healthy way.  We were barely able to have a discussion without it erupting into an argument.  It felt hopeless and I thought for sure I had married the wrong man.  We were not aware of what we had carried into our relationship or how it impacted our feeling, our ability to communicate, and resolve conflicts.  

We were also New Believers and we were just learning about surrender, forgiveness, being filled with the Holy Spirit and many other biblical principles.  As our understanding and faith grew, our relationship began to change.  We began to have conversations that remained conversations, and not arguments.  We had fewer and fewer blow outs, and when we did we were able to resolve them more quickly.  Validating each other’s feelings began to rebuild a trust that had been lost many years before, and as the trust grew and we learned to include Christ in our marriage... our hearts began to heal.  Allowing us to move into deeper wounds, and work towards recovery.  Even though our wounds are many and still healing, we are now among the 'Living'.  We no longer feel like we married the wrong person, we have faith that Christ will continue to heal us, and we are grateful for our trials because of where they have led us.  

Our hope is that churches will recognize the value of this study for small groups.  Bob was a GAME CHANGER for us spiritually, relationally, and emotionally.   We gained tools that helped apply what we were learning in other areas to our marriage.  We had been to workshops, counseling, read books, attended church, small groups... but we were struggling to get it from our heads to our hearts, we were seeing very little change, and we were scared.  We were beginning to resemble the relationships of the generations before us, and they didn't make it.  We were trying to build on broken foundations.  Uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."  -Jeremiah 1:10  We learned that our past, our brokenness and soul issues, were impacting our ability to love ourselves and others.  We also learned that validation is important to all relationships whether it is a struggling marriage, a child, friend, church member, coworker, or someone you just met.   Love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and all your mind.  And, love your neighbors as yourself.  Hurt people, hurt people.  Healed people, heal people.  This book has been instrumental on our path towards healing.  


We thank the Lord for Bob Hornstein and all that God is doing through him.


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